The Hunger

There is an antidote for the hunger.  It is love.

But what if the hunger is so common that it is normal?  The hunger is for love in all of its forms.  The norm is to spend a whole human lifetime feeding the hunger with everything except love.

I realized eight days ago that there was a reason I was obsessing over an idea, a plan, a hope.  I hoped, for the millionth time that the idea, the plan, would result in satisfaction, with satiation.  But I have done this enough, lived this way enough to know that nothing I can plan or produce will satisfy.  I asked the Spirit for help and was advised to take every thought captive that exalts itself above the knowledge of God.

So first I recognize that I am pouring my life into, out for, an idol.  So I stop that, and repent.  Now I can grab the idol and run with it toward God.  and it slips away like smoke.  So while I am within the veil, I can fall down and be loved.  and like before, I wake up wondering what the attraction was.

39

April 7, and the temperature is 39F.  61F in the house.  I wanted to stay in the comforter all day.

I think I will.  I will stay in The Comforter.

One real comfort.  One real source of comfort.  One place to find satisfaction...and He DOES NOT MIND.

You don't tug on Superman's cape, but Our Father does not mind at all.  In fact he encourages it.  One of his favorite stories is about a woman who tugged on his cape and was instantly healed from a chronic debilitating disease.  

He had the psalmist write that there is one human desire that has a place above all others.  The ONE THING of Psalm 24:7.  One thing have I desired...You.  To stare in awe.  To weep at your beauty.  To be speechless in the face of your grace.  Dumbfounded...at the most fundamental level, unable and unwilling to say a thing because all expression is expressed in You.

I will stay in You today, Father.  Comfort and heal me.  Be glorified in us today.  Manifest your Kingdom in and through your bride today.  Rest your presence in great weight on the places where we call upon your Name today.  Shekinah Chabod.

Demanding

This is the only demanding link on my favorites bar. And even here I can even come and look at my stats, as they are. Even facebook, with all of its potential for receiving output does not demand it like the blogger does.

But you know, the demand is only perceived, not real.

What if the demand was a celebration of opportunity? If I could see the end and rejoice in the outcome. If I could see the process and rejoice in the inflow of the Spirit that makes the writing possible.

Then I think about other bloggers, especially ones who have subscribers. Why are they writing? How much do they feel a demand that they think they can not satisfy? Who are they writing for?

All of this speaks into what I am doing here. The one thing I know is that all of this is prayer. It even usually transforms into a form of prayer by the end of the post. That is what puts a lie to the demand. I am coming here to meet with my Father. To sit and listen, and to speak sometimes. There is no demand in our sitting. He does not need anything from me. Everything I really need is completely satisfied in my entering, sitting, listening and speaking.

So the demand is a lie of my little broken soul. I will fail to succeed, it says. Pants on fire.

Father, so many lies and so many lie believers. So much truth and so many truth believers. Help us shine for you today. Help us reflect your truth.

Satisfaction and Gratitude

The obverse of the coin is gratitude. Our Heavenly Father is the source of perfect satisfaction, in Christ and by His Holy Spirit. He says that His will is our gratitude, our giving thanks in all things.

Receiving the manifest Kingdom and giving Him thanks for it are tandem and inseparable. There is nothing like breathing in Love and breathing out thanksgiving. In fact, there is nothing better, and there is no substitute. It is spiritual respiration. Many other things are excellent and characteristic of the Kingdom of God. But nothing gets done without breathing in the Kingdom and breathing out thanksgiving.

Hallel u jah

Satisfaction

This is Christmas Day. The thing I learned as a kid that Christmas meant was disappointment. I spent months anticipating specific Christmas gifts and not getting them. I was taught to lie in the face of disappointment. I was taught to look up from a newly unwrapped gift, look into the eyes of my Grandmother, and say, "Thank you," with a big smile.

I learned to buy my own toys. I learned that that was what money was for, and later that that was what credit cards were for. I learned that no one on this earth was able and /or willing to pay me enough attention and have the resources to buy me the toys I wanted.

When I started to buy satisfaction with credit cards, credit card interest was a tax deduction. That told me that my behavior was acceptable and desirable.

I only would stop buying new toys when I couldn't. And I was never satisfied.

I have not loved enough people enough to listen to them and find out if they are like me in that regard. I suspect, and will find out, that everyone is looking for the satisfaction of their soul. I have not listened, but have watched. What I have seen people do says that they are not satisfied.

Hardwired seeking for that which is missing. Simple. Taste and see that the Lord is good. He satisfies. This spiritual relationship meets every need. There are still places in my soul that ache for lack of satisfaction. That is not because He does not satisfy. It is only because I have failed to let Him.

Thank you, Father for Your complete provision. Put the lie to the Stones. Show them where to find satisfaction.

Shake Up The Happiness

Santa God. The two ancillary characters look heavenward in supplication. And hopeful grins.

They trust Santa God to do the right thing. They all drink the Kool Aid, and everything turns out wondrously.

All. All praise, honor, glory, power, wisdom and authority belong to God. All worship belongs to Him.

They do not have to understand what it is they are portraying. Something to worship is hard wired for a reason. Worship happens. Worship the wrong god begets a lack of satisfaction begets worship of another wrong god begets a lack of satisfaction. This continues.

Thank you, Father, that you never fail to satisfy, and that you never give up on the worshipers.

Christmas

The Christ Mass. Gotta learn the origins of that word Mass.

My friend Steve and I were talking about Southern colloquialisms. I had learned in Alabama about going out after work and catching a mess of brim (bream, pan fish, sunfish, bluegills.) He confirmed, as a native son of South Carolina, that a mess was enough for supper. In a broader sense, a mess of something was enough. What you needed. Could just as easily be a mess of collard greens.

To connect "mass" and "mess" in origins and meanings is a huge leap. But I like them, so I will take it.

When I stop to have some Christ, can I get a mess of Him? Can I get enough to satisfy? No doubt. Can we, around a table, get enough of Him for all of us? Been there. Again, no doubt. If every believer took one day, let's say December 25, stopped and had some Christ, would there still be enough left for an unbeliever to reach up and find complete satisfaction as well?

I believe so.

So, what I am saying then, is that Jesus is a mess. He satisfies. I knew it before Pastor Jakes said it, and I had the words for it after. He satisfies. If Oliver Twist came and asked for more, he would find his more in Christ.

Father, thank you for the banquet that is Christ. Thank you for your family gathered around the table, partaking of the richness you have made ours. Thank you that this year there will be more of us around the table than last year...and that some day every prodigal son and daughter will be home, to satisfy Your heart. Merry Christmas, Daddy.

Community

Social critters, us. Some of us will be in the wrong place just to be someplace.

What would it be like? Let's you and I think for a minute. What would it be like if that thing was permanently satisfied?

Do you mean finding the perfect community, realizing it, committing to it, being in it and of it?

"For God is Spirit, so those who worship him must worship in spirit and in truth."

We can find God the Spirit in and in the midst of the community of believers. We can find satan there, too. There is a perfect community where satan is not welcome and believers are. Seated in heavenly places.

We want the Spirit to invade our meetings. We "invoke" the presence of the Most High. We ask Jesus to manifest Himself. We live for a touch of the Heavenlies.

All the while, the veil is gone. He said, Draw nigh. He said, Come unto Me. He said, My son was dead, and now is alive. Bring shoes for his feet. Put a ring on his finger. My son turned off the well travelled road and came up the lane toward me...so I ran to meet him. This is what the Kingdom of God is like.

The perfect community where there is perfect satisfaction of every social need is right here. Seated in heavenly places.

What will it be like in human communities, and in communities of believers when everyone is satisfied before they arrive? I heard the teacher (Carl Koch) explain about the church as a camel parking lot where everyone who has been blessed brings their camel loaded with the excess of their blessing, to distribute to everyone else who comes. But he did not talk about the state of the camel leading believer. This believer comes to the meeting utterly satisfied by his community with God.

Thank you, Father, Son and Holy Ghost. Thank you for Your Kingdom.

I Love This Time

Thought this morning about going to twice a day posting; one in the morning and one at night. I love this time. Some times I get so lost in love that I remember that I am not here in the Holy Wild so I can write about it, but I am here so I can be with my Father. So I can lean on the arm of my Beloved.

There is such life in Holy Surrender. Maybe I can plan to write twice or more daily, but I am not sure it is possible. Just sitting here with the Spirit of God makes it difficult to write.

All of me that wants to write anything for the writing or the being read gets strained out, as the center of me that adores Christ passes through the veil. I get to sit here in the presence of God, and then what gets written has less of me in it.

I am learning that what is disabled in the Presence is the flesh that can not go any further. What I find of me beyond those moments of fuzzbuzz is what has been purified. In the nineties I used to cling to the God-buzz. Now it is time to be grateful for it, and move on through the filter.

There is no room for my flesh in the garden. It just draws flies. Thank you Father for drawing me. Thank you for satisfying me. Thank you for being the Truth

Simple

I have found rest for my soul in a spiritual relationship with the God of the Jews. I have found that this rest, and this relationship, are available by faith to those who will exercise that faith. Faith in God was the foundation of the relationship Abraham had. Nothing else is required. As one man has been wont to say, "All you need is faith in God."

You may say that you do not want to have a spiritual relationship with this God, and in response I say, "Drivel. Poppycock." Your desire for God is the driving force in your life. Your desire for God explains every decision you have made.

The challenge at hand is that you have already given dominion over your life to another god. The best god you have found is you. And you will have to choose between God and other gods. The only encouragement I have is for you to pause and realize that, though you are fully devoted to the little god called self, self has yet to give you any sort of satisfaction. You give your all to your god, but you still ache.

Father, thank you for simple truth.

Nothing like a great worship song.

Give me love
Give me love
Give me peace on earth
Give me light
Give me life
Keep me free from birth
Give me hope
Help me cope, with this heavy load
Trying to, touch and reach you with,
heart and soul

OM M M M M M M M M M M M M M
M M M My Lord . . .

PLEASE take hold of my hand, that
I might understand you

Won't you please
Oh won't you

Give me love
Give me love
Give me peace on earth
Give me light
Give me life
Keep me free from birth
Give me hope
Help me cope, with this heavy load
Trying to, touch and reach you with,
heart and soul

OM M M M M M M M M M M M M M
M M M My Lord . . .

Won't you please
Oh won't you

Give me love
Give me love
Give me peace on earth
Give me light
Give me life
Keep me free from birth
Give me hope
Help me cope, with this heavy load
Trying to, touch and reach you with,
heart and soul
Give me love
Give me love
Give me peace on earth
Give me light
Give me life
Keep me, Keep me free from birth
Give me hope
Help me cope, with this heavy load
Trying to, touch and reach you with,
heart and soul

OM M M M M M M M M M M M M M
M M M My Lord . . .

George Harrison

Coffee

In America, for the last ten years or so, coffee is the Christian drug. It is the acceptable drug.

I was giving some thought to how I would describe myself. I was reading Jo's facebook info, and she went to some length, with carefully chosen words, to help her readers understand where she was coming from. I realized that I had not crafted the same high value description, and I was stirred to that kind of thought.

The next thing that came to the surface is that I would say that I am a recovering addict. (It just took me five tries to correctly spell recovering, only one for addict. Hmmm) And not coffee. I have not forsaken coffee. Every seed bearing tree, you know.

I am recovering from addiction to my self. I would not be recovering if I did not have this Holy Wild in which to wander, clinging to my King. Born, I said within moments, "I want." In response, I received. So I tried again, for something else for me. And I received. Later, when I expressed my desire and did not receive, I learned to satisfy myself. It is not all bad. It just defines our humanity, without God. A need or want is perceived. We do what we need to to get satisfaction.

And there is a great defining moment. Getting satisfaction. Being satisfied. So long as I need to get satisfaction, I am feeding my soul to balm the aching places. I am self medicating, self comforting, self sheltering, self embracing. Now being satisfied is the entire difference. Being satisfied means that I am transformed. Satisfied is who I am. My needs are met and the desires of my heart do not originate in my aching, broken soul.

The habits of self care run very deep. The old path is a rut worn so deep that there was no self rescue available. Rescue was available, but accepting it required at least a moment of forsaking my effort.

The habits of self care run very deep. I am recovering. Just like the twelve-steppers who will never say that they are recovered, I will agree. I fall into the rut every day. Sometimes I stay there, immediately finding my hands on their old worn out tools, sure for a while that I will be able to get satisfaction on my own. My shepherd stands there patiently, not even clearing His throat to remind me that I need Him.

Then I realize where I am and what I am trying to do...look up...and reach up.

Thank You, Lord. You are Faithful and True. You restore my soul. You make me satisfied.

201010211216

The Grace of God goes before. In the intimate company of The Spirit there is only movement in the right direction and opposition is just moved aside. There is no question of whether He will take me to victory. The only issue is how much back tracking and reworking before I get there. In His presence is fullness of joy. I will be satisfied. He satisfies my mouth with good things. He has given me rest on every side. That is not just sound sleep. It is a place of perfect repose in the midst of my awakeness.

The closer I move, breathe and stay, the more I want to be here. Where would I go. You have the Words of Life

Good Night

Wow. Everything next to Father is perfect. Only the perfect covering of Blood has made it possible for me to discover that. The Blood of Jesus has made me perfect. Have to grab that. Do I really believe it? Despite the fact that I know it is true?

How about that? Something can be true, and I still to not believe it or act as though I believe it.

There is a difference between truth and belief. Of course...there is huge room and huge testimony that we can function on belief in untruth. So why not function on unbelief in truth.

Better yet, it is true, and I know it is true...and I still do not live on the belief. That is a bigger stretch. It reminds me of that situation where someone is offered Christ and rejects Him...and then is asked, "Well, what in hell do you want?"

What outside and away from the grace of God do I want? What is there out here in the world that I want badly enough to turn toward it and away from my Father's perfect provision? What do I think is missing from His Offer?

He has made me perfect in His sight. That is enough. I can and will sit with you now, Father, and I will rest with you, not fearing your wrath. Display your lovingkindness for my brother and sister tonight, and draw them to your embrace.

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Exotic. Human. Novelty. Attractive. Attention-drawing.

Nothing is love but love. Many things are interesting, fascinating, rare. None of them are suited to sustaining life here in the Wild.

Lots of self flagellation over being distracted by these things over and over. They were not by themselves. For every time someone said, "turn from sin" there were as many or more who said "turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in His wonderful face. And the things of Earth will grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace."

I guess it took time and circumstance to point out that there was only one fountain.

It is not the last cigarette. It is the first free breath.

I keep thinking that there is an unlimited supply of tempting things in this world.

But I have it backwards. The temptations are many, but limited. They can not be more than man and satan can imagine. It is the delights of intimacy with the King in His Kingdom that are without limits.

To get lost in your splendor, my God, is my great delight.

Room

You have to lean. That is the only price.

You have to admit that you can not do what has to be done, and lean on the One, the only One who can and did.

The words are, "The Blood of Jesus was, is and ever shall be enough and all."

I am smart, but not smart enough. I am strong, but not strong enough. I am not a bad looking human, but I can never be handsome enough. I am rich, but I can never have enough money to defeat the Wild. The only way I am coming out of this place is leaning on the arm of my Beloved.

Leaning everything.

God forgive my pride. God forgive the pride of your Church. Have mercy on her today.