Constant

Boy wants me to be constant, in season and out. I need that from my Father as well. I suppose that as long as I am alive and near my son, there will be parts of what he needs to lean on God for, that he will still lean on me for. And I will ultimately fail him, no matter how godlike I try to be.

Maybe I can give my self over and be Christlike enough to at least point him to our Father in heaven. I do not mind my son looking to me for stability. And I guess I am hardwired to try to be stable. I know I have darned well been trained to be stable. That was the thing my Dad was best at.

Unfortunately, the stability that I was trained to provide is not the stability that is stable enough. My boy has to find his way to leaning on his Beloved. I do not want to fail, but ultimately that is what it takes.

Father, help me to be the father that my son needs. Thank you that I have found the Father and the Fathering that is my greatest need, in You. Thank you that you have made it so that I no longer walk like an orphan.