The Hunger

There is an antidote for the hunger.  It is love.

But what if the hunger is so common that it is normal?  The hunger is for love in all of its forms.  The norm is to spend a whole human lifetime feeding the hunger with everything except love.

I realized eight days ago that there was a reason I was obsessing over an idea, a plan, a hope.  I hoped, for the millionth time that the idea, the plan, would result in satisfaction, with satiation.  But I have done this enough, lived this way enough to know that nothing I can plan or produce will satisfy.  I asked the Spirit for help and was advised to take every thought captive that exalts itself above the knowledge of God.

So first I recognize that I am pouring my life into, out for, an idol.  So I stop that, and repent.  Now I can grab the idol and run with it toward God.  and it slips away like smoke.  So while I am within the veil, I can fall down and be loved.  and like before, I wake up wondering what the attraction was.

Hunger

Funny hunger today.  Lots of soul in there.  Soul, shut up and sit down.  It is okay.

I guess the beyond will look like the fullness of OKAY.  Where we never forget that it is okay.  Where we never doubt that it is okay.  Where we can not hear the whispers that challenge the truth.  Where ever scar in the emotions is erased, where every habit of self protection and self rescue and self medication has been replaced with "no room for anything but awe."

I want more awe now so I have less doubt and fear.  So I have less  hunger that is not about fuel for this body, and rather is about self care.  Help me make the link, the connection.  I want hunger at the wrong time to tell me that my circumstances have poked a sore spot in my soul.  So I can immediately grab it and run toward the Throne with it, calling out for my big brother Jesus to put his hands on it.

Thanks, Dad.  Help me grab and go.

I Love You

That's what He said. I like all the rest of it, but that is the part I have to have. That is the reason that I went looking for Him. I knew there was someone out there who could and would love me.

My wife loved me, but she did not complete me with her love. My sister and brother love me, but they do not fulfill my existence with their love. My son loves me, but as a son loves a father. A sons love is not meant to say "Amen" over my life.

That is Daddy's job. Dancing around me, singing over me, my Father looks at me and agrees completely, saying "Amen."

Father showed me a picture once, and over and over, of a day I needed Fathering. I was a little boy, and I was waiting on the front walk for my Dad to come home from work. I was expecting him to respond perfectly to my need that evening. He failed. Now keep in mind that my Dad was a great Dad. He did his best. But he was just a man, an earth father. That day I needed my Father in Heaven, because I always have and I always will. I am pretty sure it was not the first or last time he failed. It is just moment I realized that he never would meet that need, scratch that itch.

I am so grateful, Heavenly Father, that you knew I would come looking for You. Like the boy named Sue, there were lots of avenues to relief, but there was only one person who could be the door to AAAHHHHHH! My Dad could provide many things, but I needed You to redeem me out of darkness and hold me in Your Light. Thank you for the hunger in us that has only You for the answer.