Daddy. I love that sound. I love to say Daddy. And know I am heard. I still don't know why I keep forgetting.

Daddy. Help. Help me live in the way that brings you the Glory. Help me live in excellence. Remove the habits of anxiety from my soul. You restore my soul. There is junk in me in the way of excellence. I want to be shiny for you.

Someone To Talk To

I really needed somebody to talk to last night. I know that is what the church is for. I was not with the church. I was on the road. But that did not change the fact that I really needed someone other than me to talk to. Everything me had to say was making it worse.

Spirit God. Just there waiting for me to remember.

I suppose that is the reason people are always on their mobiles. They find their life in community. I have always wondered how anyone could have so much to talk about. Widget on the ear, always talking. Maybe as a result, it never occurred to me to call someone. The only person I call is my son. Most folks at work are part of my tribe, good to talk with, but rarely beyond News, Sports, Weather.

And it is so rare that I come to a place where I have to admit that I need help.

Spirit God. Just there waiting for me to remember.

Father, I am so grateful that Holy Spirit is real and here for me. And for the whole church. But last night, for me. I am sorry that I forget. I know that you understand me, even when I don't. Patience is your name.

I want more. I don't want just to run to you. I want to function from your presence. Thank you for understanding. Please keep me. Do not let me fall utterly.

Father. What a thing to say. Perfect Father. Abundant rest has always been available in Your embrace. I accept. I freely receive what You have freely given.

Thank You that you are showing me by your Spirit how to identify and avoid the meaningless trappings. That you illuminate the path home, the path that leads directly into your embrace.

I need you, Daddy. I need you to rock me, and tell me the truth. I have been believing lies about you and me, both. Forgive me.

And thank you for Hartsville Community Fellowship. Restore each one's awe tonight.

I'm Angry

and I do not want to be. Dad says to put away wrath. O.K.

Oh. I am tired. But does that just mean that the anger gets through? Maybe. And that means that the anger is there, just under. Not good. Not love. Especially if it wants to get all over somebody.

The stuff I am trying to do for my self is not working. (It is not able to.)

I am still addicted to my abilities. I am still proud of what I can do.

Daddy just waits. He is outside of time and can afford to let me find surrender again. God help me. I am afraid that I will give up on You and trust myself even when I know that I drop the ball every time. Be glorified in me. Father, be glorified in Your children.