Each day brings its opportunities to honor God with decisions or to dishonor Him.
He is worthy of honorable decisions, choices, actions and words. In disregarding God, the service of self is left at the forefront.

The hallmark of life in the Holy Wild is the knowledge of God. There is no gap between living, and knowing the value of the last lived moment. Feedback is immediate, unmistakable and personal. If I have been leaning on the arm of my Beloved, and I begin to pull away as I am distracted from Him by a dead thing and its matching dead place in me, I know NOW that I have sinned. Imagine having your nose filled with the finest perfume, a smell that reminds you that you are home...and then having your nose stuffed full of the scent of death and decay. God did not decide to smell bad. I decided to put my nose where it no longer belongs.

Father, thank You for the indefinable intimacy. Thank you for prayer, the abiding ebb and flow of communication.

Hurts

Aching is part of the Wilderness experience. It is possible to be totally at rest leaning completely on Christ, and ache at the same time. But then I know that the ache is not from any lack I have. It is from seeing some else's hurting.

The rod of Aaron was a long-dead piece of almond wood. There were two things that transformed it into the permanent symbol of God's choice of the Levites and Aaron as their leader. First was the truth that God made a way for the Levites to draw near him and intercede. The second is that, just like the Levites themselves, the rod was very near to God, and transformed by His presence. The result was a rod in the ark to remind Israel of these things. Yet even with this, even chosen Israel chose to avoid drawing near. Chosen Israel chose to avoid the intimacy that will not tolerate sin. It is the same opportunity as always: Choose to be close to God, burned clean and transformed for His Glory, or choose familiarity, distance, and self shaping, self regard.

Come into the light. Chase away the darkness. Be transformed into a new thing, a living thing made alive from a dead thing. A thing transformed for a holy and glorious purpose, far bigger than you can imagine or manage. God, help us to be dissatisfied with religion and a dead life.

Leaning, Learning

I want so bad to make it happen. Not that I am a gogetter. I want to control. Control my emotional pain, even strong emotion that is not pain. This is the legacy. It is what I brought to the dance. I want to be stable. I do not want people disliking me.

But now I have tasted. I know there is rest from the striving. As a result, daily communication gets better. I am more honest. I am able to speak without the filter of control.

It is what I would tell them if I was dead. Because I am dead. Dead in Christ.

I am not going to be alright. Instead, I am alright. I am at rest.

Thanks, Dad.