Heroes

I do not know how to write about this.  Maybe if I start, it will take me somewhere.

Heroes.  Who are they there for?  They are serving people in need.  The service is needed.  The heroes get a measure of glory.  The glory feels good.  Isn't is good to feel needed?  

There have been times, seasons when I have known I would be a hero.  Work to do for a season, as a protector, defender, expert, SME, go-to-guy.  

I think we have been stealing the glory.  No wonder it feels good.  All of the glory belongs to The Lord Jesus Christ.  But it is such a small thing.  We become stewards of a thing.  We are the masters of it, and the doorways of access to it.

But we are not the masters of it.  We are the stewards of it.  He alone is the Master of it, of All.

What would it look like if I worked my job as a steward rather than a master.  I am trusted with a part of something bigger than I can ever be or be master of.  It is one or five or ten talents, entrusted to me for a season.  It is not mine, but the Master's.  He is returning to claim what is His.  He is interested in how I will invest, and what return I will get and give...but mostly He is returning for what is His.  I am just the steward of it.

He has placed this part of His estate in this time and place for the benefit of those it serves, not for me or my glory.  This asset is glorious from the start, and I can add nothing to it.  It needs my stewardship to be of the best advantage possible to those who it serves.  That is why he placed a steward.  He placed me as that steward because he sees that I may be able to provide it without touching the glory.  

When I play hero with my authority, my commission, I steal from my Master.  It is always enough, more than enough to be given a stewardship.  But I have touched the glory, and want more.  And no wonder.  It is divine.  Not made for me.

If touching the divine made us explode at that moment, everyone would know not to touch the divine, not to touch the glory.  Stealing glory does not kill us right a way.  In fact, it makes us feel like gods.

Enough analysis for now.  In the Name of Jesus, I pray Father that you would forgive my theft of the glory of Christ.  I renounce my old habits of heroics, my hunger to be a hero, and a god.  Teach me how to bring the glory and honor home to The Lord Jesus Christ by proper stewardship.  Help me, first, to be grateful for the opportunity to serve the Kingdom of God as a steward of some small portion.  Help me then to love the beneficiaries of the estate, to provide the benefits of the estate to them because you love them.  Help me to find your love for them and our  love for you, together, as we dwell in your possession.  Help us to be found faithful with that which you have given us.  And with our lamps full of oil.

Shiny, Real Shiny

It sounds like the job is shining.  2Cor4  All the rest is good, but is not effective without shining.
So one question for me...Am I shiny today?  Does experiencing me direct their attention toward God?

Are my choices, actions and words making and keeping me shiny?

Hosanna

Saved.  Rescued.
I have to acknowledge it. It is the actual willful assent to the fact of having been rescued and redeemed that crosses over the threshold.

Thinking about Neil S. and family in Jacksonville.  Great resolve demonstrated daily.  A wonderful example for me.  Not sure I agree with every perspective, but delighted to watch him burn.

So that is the question tonight.  Am I burning with Christ-light.  Is my life in the Kingdom of God drawing anyone to watch me burn, and wonder at the wonder of it?

What is the point?  To light the way.

It is all about the oil.  I can only get it by intimacy.  You provide the spark.  You provide the lifting up.  You can not deny me access.  Thank you for that.  Burn me for your illumination.  Burn me to reveal your Kingdom.

Love Manifested in Effectiveness

Wow.  Love manifested in effectiveness.  The very Kingdom of God invading the world of darkness, the world of less than excellent.  All less than excellence is a reflection of the presence of Death and the presence of Pride.  Love manifested as excellence, manifested as effectiveness is the Kingdom, now, pushing back the death and darkness.

So, Father, help me, help us all be good at our jobs.  You put us here right now in this place under this authority for many sub reasons, but above all for your glory.  Help us be effective at our work as an outworking of your love in our lives.  Work love in and through us, for the benefit of our company, our division, our facility, our coworkers.  Break down the blinders on our eyes, our habitual ways of thinking and seeing that are no longer effective.  Clear our ears of old filters that stop us from hearing what is being said today because of what we heard in earlier days.  Pour the oil of your spirit into the bruised and broken places in the very center of each of us, where we have built self defenses, scar tissue that keeps us from moving freely in thought, will and emotion.  Remind us of what joy is like.  Remind us of what it smells like.  Remind us of what it looks like, what it sounds like.  Remind us of when we touched joy.  I want the joy of the Lord to be my strength, our strength.

Thank you.  You are the great God, the high and holy one, who bends low to love us.  Thank you for the oil of joy, your holy spirit.

Demanding

This is the only demanding link on my favorites bar. And even here I can even come and look at my stats, as they are. Even facebook, with all of its potential for receiving output does not demand it like the blogger does.

But you know, the demand is only perceived, not real.

What if the demand was a celebration of opportunity? If I could see the end and rejoice in the outcome. If I could see the process and rejoice in the inflow of the Spirit that makes the writing possible.

Then I think about other bloggers, especially ones who have subscribers. Why are they writing? How much do they feel a demand that they think they can not satisfy? Who are they writing for?

All of this speaks into what I am doing here. The one thing I know is that all of this is prayer. It even usually transforms into a form of prayer by the end of the post. That is what puts a lie to the demand. I am coming here to meet with my Father. To sit and listen, and to speak sometimes. There is no demand in our sitting. He does not need anything from me. Everything I really need is completely satisfied in my entering, sitting, listening and speaking.

So the demand is a lie of my little broken soul. I will fail to succeed, it says. Pants on fire.

Father, so many lies and so many lie believers. So much truth and so many truth believers. Help us shine for you today. Help us reflect your truth.

Off to a good start

I started a new adventure this morning. I have asked a guide to lead me over an otherwise impassable pass.

You see, it is not impossible. I just need help. Not only do I need help, but I also need to get to the other side. And I also need to be changed in the process. I need the change more than I need the other side.

The Word says that He restores my soul. That is what is going on. There is a glorious, and God-glorifying way that my mind, will and emotions were meant to be, but are not. The closer they are to design, the more my King gets that glory that is his. I want that real bad. I ache to honor the one who rescued me. What wouldn't you do for your hero?

I will acknowledge and celebrate that other good things will result from the restoration of my soul, but the only thing that can matter first being shiny to shine on the one who ransomed me.

Father, for your glory, help me to attend faithfully to the effort of the guide you have placed in my path. I know that she is earnest and able.

I am sorry

There is something fundamentally wrong here.

The people on TV are awakened by the morning sun streaming strongly through their windows. It seems to me that that is how we were made to awaken.

I want to find out how to do that and still pay my bills.

Father God, you said you have plans for your children. Help us to live the lives you desire, that we would bring glory and honor to you and you alone.

Daddy. I love that sound. I love to say Daddy. And know I am heard. I still don't know why I keep forgetting.

Daddy. Help. Help me live in the way that brings you the Glory. Help me live in excellence. Remove the habits of anxiety from my soul. You restore my soul. There is junk in me in the way of excellence. I want to be shiny for you.

Gratitude Grows with Gratitude

Gratitude grows with gratitude.

It is good to remember a gift. It is better to remember and express thanksgiving. The gates of grace open wide.

How the nations do rage. There was never just one moment of refusing to say thank you. Longstanding patterns of habit. Cultural disinclination toward gratitude expressed to God. Habits of thanking the wrong god. Habits of thanking, congratulating self. Habits of uttering acknowledgement of a god as the source, without any personal knowledge of the truth, making the utterance a rut. So habits grow with habitual steps, digging the rut ever deeper.

After a while, even thinking about gratitude, therefore thinking about gifts to be grateful for,brings the life of God. Or brings me to the spout where the Glory comes out. Walking in pursuit of living water and gratitude for it brings life. Seeing where life is touching darkness brings vision for restoration.

My God, you are good!

My boy is asleep over there. I am so glad there is a God who loves us both. I feel so inadequate. I have always felt so, in the face of my needing to be a parent.

At the same time, I also feel so grateful. I have come to know that I am supposed to feel inadequate, in this regard and all others. I can not do it, if it is worth doing. It is just that simple. I need help with anything worth doing. Any help that is available that is not directly from God is at least obliquely from God. All of the help worth getting is from God, for all of the things worth doing.

The only time parenting, living, serving, loving, edifying, analyzing gets hard, impossible, is when I try to do it alone.

The chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever. Whatever part I have in it...if my boy is to bring glory and honor to the great king, I am helpless to do my part alone.

Father, thank you for the help so far. Please, do not remove your hand from me. Your hand will not leave unaddressed the wickedness of my life, and will also never leave me without cover. Thank you. I can rest forever in that one lone truth.

I love how He loves me

This life lived resting (or meaning to) in the Grace of God is so practical.
Need what only God can supply.
Go to God.
Say hello.
Get a hug.
Tell Him what it is that only He can supply and that you need.
Wait a bit.
Be supplied.
Recognize the supply.
Give thanks.
Repeat.

I ached tonight with one of those special aches that are hardwired, part of how He made us like Himself. Since He knows all of those aches, because He aches like that, He knows how to not ache...
And how to make me not ache. So when I went to get a hug, that is what he did.

He does these things in different ways every time. Like Jesus constantly doing different miracles. Like all of the different ways of healing blindness.

I wish all training had hugs.

Father, You make everything glorious. Thank you.

Glory!

I really must not really get it. There is so much mercy and favor, and I get may extra measure today, and do not believe it.

We must think that life in Christ is without adversity. I find myself disappointed. But it is in the adversity that the grace is both needed and available. I am not grateful for the adversity,but I am learning to be grateful in the adversity. I have to go back and look at that word. This is like getting slapped into alertness, it is such a rich blessing. My AWE is restored.

It is so much about a restored soul. I will let you, Father, walk me through to the place you want me to stand, and walk me from there to the next one. And I will praise until I worship, worship until your glory is manifest, and I will stand in your glory to reflect it upon you.

Hold me, Daddy. I am trembling. But not from fear or poverty or anger.

Doors

I love the doors. A knock comes. A phone rings. Someone writes a note. Someone stops by. The key is the angle of repose. The key is the rested posture. The seat in the embrace of my Father passes through, effortlessly through every holy doorway.

So the key thing to work on, apply love to, is the leaning, the resting, the trusting of God. I will cling to my King. I can only go wrong by doing it myself.

Father, hold me very tight. I trust that if I will refrain from struggling to escape, nothing can take me from your embrace and I will walk in the direction of your kingdom and glory and power. All that is right is you. I hear. I will stay near and keep your scent in my nose.

Why?

Coming here is the best thing there is. How to introduce others goes back to love. So I will rest here, soaking in love. When I leave, every experience of me will be enhanced by the love that saturates me. So I rest here in love, in the arms of love, in the river of love, hearing the voice of love, soaking and saturating with love. Clinging to love for dear life. Being rewired by love. Having my soul restored by love...and coming away as a carrier, a vector of the infatuation infection.

I sit at rest here in love. The oil of joy facilitates going over under and around obstacles, taking love in where it is needed. To cause someone to say, "What is that?"

Father, teach me to love by making loving my newly reset default response. For every stimulus, the response is love. Automatic and not needing contemplation. To love where love is needed. To love the fatherless. Hold me. I need you so I can bring you the glory.

What I am afraid of

Sometimes it takes me time to figure out what is going on. I have to look at what I am being tempted with to figure out what I am holding back from my Father. It is so easy to stay in the habits of pride. All I need is to turn to my Father with what concerns me, and he will perfect it. I can not do what will matter in the issues that I am assaulted with. I get a chance to be reminded of how small I am, and how great my Father is.

There really is a special spiritual thing about fathers and sons. And the key stories involve fathers trusting God with their sons. Father, I am tempted to worry about my son. So all the more, I surrender my Isaac to you. I trust your plan because I want to trust my plan. I need to trust you more than I need to trust my plan. All of my plans without you seemed so well reasoned until they broke under my weight and cut me. Who can compare leaning on the arm of God with leaning on the marsh reeds of Egypt. Have mercy on my son and his mother. Grant us the grace needed to bring to you the Glory that is yours. Restore my soul. I need you, Daddy.

honor

What an honor to be able to hear and express what I hear. My Daddy has a place for me at his table, and one for you as well. There is no lack of places, only lack of those who will come, even be carried to the table for lack of ability to approach but no lack of will to approach.

In this world there are few enough invitations. Yet the kingdom of God is all about the invitation. And the acceptance.

There is so much that I am not willing to do, though it is right there. There is so much to do and so little doing needed. Just to stand. Like Ruth said. Praise until you worship. Worship until the Glory falls. Stand in the Glory. Stand in the Glory. What else is on that side of the rent veil Glory. What else is in the wilderness, standing in the embrace of Love. Glory. A bath gets cold. A sun rise becomes full day. A poet's song ends brilliantly. Then there is Glory. Stand in the Glory. Leave when you have to. Stay as long as you can. Glory. Get used to it. It burns up chaff.

Father, I want to be less and less chaffy. Or is it chaffish? Thanks for the Glory you have given us to stand in. And endure your kisses.

Yes

What a joyful day. A day full of Yes.

The really cool thing is the realization that it just keeps getting better. In the Kingdom, a member of the royal family, settled at home, with a place at the table, surrounded by glory, not alone, no longer Fatherless, no longer an orphan. Not going to be kicked out. Welcome to stay. Meeting new family members every day. Building for the future. Resting. Delivered. Free. With access to limitless hope.

Wow.

Back to Work

Been hangin' with my growing son this week. Back in the saddle tomorrow, wrapping up an old work year and kickstarting a new one. Always an interesting transition time. This transition will be different, because I am different. Just these last three months of writing like this every night has made a huge difference in how this life is able to find places in my soul that can still be pushed around.

It is like everything ahead is adventure. Just being still enough to find out what God is up to, still enough to be hearing what He wants done or not done. So far to go in learning to be still.

Father, help me to bring Glory and Honor to Your name as I earn my living.

Happy New Year

Read something in the last day or so. Something about Ms. Winfrey and a new year meaning that we had another chance to get it right. If there was ever a failed humanist approach to life, that is it. The idea that man has what it takes, if he only gets enough opportunities to prove it to himself and the world. The idea that one day we will witness the life of a man who gets it right.

This is very attractive. We all also know that it would make him a god. We spend a lot of social energy looking for the human who will transcend his humanity and behave like a god worth proving that men have divinity in them. Society tracks the beautiful, because we know that beauty is a trait of the gods. We track the extraordinarily intelligent, the extraordinarily physically gifted, the ones born into generations of wealth and power.

They all fall. They all fail. They all fail to be worthy of worship. But so much hope was invested in them, that when the investment tanks, they become the objects of revulsion, derision. Ms. Winfrey has had to find a way to stay slim, because she becomes the failed god of her worshipers when she puts on weight.

Godhood for mortal men is very hard, and then you die.

But no matter how awful it is to be a human god, it is harder to abandon the illusion that it is possible. That is what it takes to be free, however. Just say, "I am not worthy of any measure of worship. The One who established the need to find One who is worthy of worship already revealed Himself to the whole world. I will only worship the One Who Is Worthy."

I worship You, Father, Son and Holy Spirit. You alone are worthy of all praise, honor, wisdom, authority, love, and grace. May the Name of the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob receive all the Glory.

There is a forecast of snow for tomorrow night. We do not get much snow.

You have to go somewhere to regularly get snow. Same with rain, sun, waves, tornadoes, drought.

When the irregular shows up, local folks are in wonder. They go out to experience it, because it may never manifest there again.

The best manifestation possible is always available. Some have lived their whole lives in the presence of the Holy Spirit, and have never been introduced. They could spend the rest of time lost in wonder, but nobody told them. They know they are missing something, but...

Some have found themselves standing under the spout where the glory comes out, and have stepped out of the deluge because they have things to do. They think they will come back later.

Sometimes they do.

The Glory of God is right here. Taste and see that the Lord is good.

Father, I know that in You there is nothing missing and nothing broken. I know that I walked away after tasting of the heavenly gift. I know that others do as well. I also know that Your Love pours out, and believers are not the only receivers. Thank You for the well of living water. Thank You that your love for us never fails and never falters. Show me how surrender.