Demanding

This is the only demanding link on my favorites bar. And even here I can even come and look at my stats, as they are. Even facebook, with all of its potential for receiving output does not demand it like the blogger does.

But you know, the demand is only perceived, not real.

What if the demand was a celebration of opportunity? If I could see the end and rejoice in the outcome. If I could see the process and rejoice in the inflow of the Spirit that makes the writing possible.

Then I think about other bloggers, especially ones who have subscribers. Why are they writing? How much do they feel a demand that they think they can not satisfy? Who are they writing for?

All of this speaks into what I am doing here. The one thing I know is that all of this is prayer. It even usually transforms into a form of prayer by the end of the post. That is what puts a lie to the demand. I am coming here to meet with my Father. To sit and listen, and to speak sometimes. There is no demand in our sitting. He does not need anything from me. Everything I really need is completely satisfied in my entering, sitting, listening and speaking.

So the demand is a lie of my little broken soul. I will fail to succeed, it says. Pants on fire.

Father, so many lies and so many lie believers. So much truth and so many truth believers. Help us shine for you today. Help us reflect your truth.

Father. What a thing to say. Perfect Father. Abundant rest has always been available in Your embrace. I accept. I freely receive what You have freely given.

Thank You that you are showing me by your Spirit how to identify and avoid the meaningless trappings. That you illuminate the path home, the path that leads directly into your embrace.

I need you, Daddy. I need you to rock me, and tell me the truth. I have been believing lies about you and me, both. Forgive me.

And thank you for Hartsville Community Fellowship. Restore each one's awe tonight.

I Love This Time

Thought this morning about going to twice a day posting; one in the morning and one at night. I love this time. Some times I get so lost in love that I remember that I am not here in the Holy Wild so I can write about it, but I am here so I can be with my Father. So I can lean on the arm of my Beloved.

There is such life in Holy Surrender. Maybe I can plan to write twice or more daily, but I am not sure it is possible. Just sitting here with the Spirit of God makes it difficult to write.

All of me that wants to write anything for the writing or the being read gets strained out, as the center of me that adores Christ passes through the veil. I get to sit here in the presence of God, and then what gets written has less of me in it.

I am learning that what is disabled in the Presence is the flesh that can not go any further. What I find of me beyond those moments of fuzzbuzz is what has been purified. In the nineties I used to cling to the God-buzz. Now it is time to be grateful for it, and move on through the filter.

There is no room for my flesh in the garden. It just draws flies. Thank you Father for drawing me. Thank you for satisfying me. Thank you for being the Truth

I love being a listener

I was faced with an unusual decision today, and wrestled with it on and off during the day. I was coming up to a point where I was going to have to decide, and needed counsel. So I asked my Heavenly Father what was in it for me if I decided to go to this meeting. Right away, He said, "People. I want to make you a rich man. Rich with people."

See, my rut included staying isolated. The lie said that I did not have much, and what I had people only wanted. The only thing that could happen by being around more people was losing even more of what I did not have enough of.

It is so fascinating how lies are about the true important things, but so much the opposite of the truth. The thing that keeps me poor is not having enough empty people around me to pour Gods love into. The more need there is, the more I can pour...and the more I get refilled with fresh Love. Sure, when all I had to offer was the fullness of my poor humanity, then it was true that I was going to run out when around needy people

The deal is that they are only 'needy' when I have nothing for them. When I am filled to the top, shaken together, pressed down and running over with what is for them anyway, then I never feel any lack when someone needs Love poured out on their lives.

So I am going tomorrow to collect my inheritence, people. Thank you, Father that you have plans for me, that I should prosper in Your Kingdom, and in the manner of Your Kingdom.