Someone To Talk To

I really needed somebody to talk to last night. I know that is what the church is for. I was not with the church. I was on the road. But that did not change the fact that I really needed someone other than me to talk to. Everything me had to say was making it worse.

Spirit God. Just there waiting for me to remember.

I suppose that is the reason people are always on their mobiles. They find their life in community. I have always wondered how anyone could have so much to talk about. Widget on the ear, always talking. Maybe as a result, it never occurred to me to call someone. The only person I call is my son. Most folks at work are part of my tribe, good to talk with, but rarely beyond News, Sports, Weather.

And it is so rare that I come to a place where I have to admit that I need help.

Spirit God. Just there waiting for me to remember.

Father, I am so grateful that Holy Spirit is real and here for me. And for the whole church. But last night, for me. I am sorry that I forget. I know that you understand me, even when I don't. Patience is your name.

I want more. I don't want just to run to you. I want to function from your presence. Thank you for understanding. Please keep me. Do not let me fall utterly.

Bushed

That's what my Dad called it. Tuckered. Tarred is what they say here, to mean tired.

So much grace today. Not the favor I could probably ask for every day, but so much grace. Just marveling and marveling at the ease of functioning here.

The holes in my soul still take the energy out of me. Work circumstances were hard today in a way that involves my soul, particularly my emotions, more than it involves my mind working. When I was done, I was really ready to leave. I was not sleepy tired, but I wanted comfort food and "easy." Now that I am home with a full tummy, I want to sleep. It is probably reasonable, but it is clear that there are big booboos that need to be left under the balm. I miss the mark so much, yet each day is clearly closer to being on track and on target.

Really nothing to do but trust and lean and cling and rest. and listen and talk. This life is working like no other ever has. Glory to God. Glory to God. Glory to God.

Father, help the prayer wall people to know the truth of your love, the steadfastness of your love, the trustworthiness of your love, to be rooted and grounded in who You are, according to your word. Forgive my pride, some more.