Some days are easier than others. Difference now is that the days are not easier because the circumstances are easier, but rather because I remember to stay in the embrace of grace, and let myself be carried through upon the everlasting arms of love. It is getting easier to love, as the habits of expecting to love, regardless of the response, are daily formed and reinforced. I expect days when, on my own, it would be much harder to love. But the supply of love is so infinitely large.
I am reminded of how much I could have used this in the past. But a big part of expecting to love now exists in me because I did not have it then. God, it was such a barren existence. The dryness of it made me thirsty for real living water.
The pleasure of the writing, now, is that the memory of my dry hard ground still hurts. And so it tells me that my soul is still in need of healing. Help me, Papa to forgive and heal. Help me to release the hurts. Make me more and more like Christ.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
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