Saturday, November 6, 2010

Fall Back

It is so easy to switch to "human doing" from "human being." It is the default response. I am refusing today.

See, I should be able to fix my world, right? Wrong. What I can effect is the small stuff. The significant stuff I can not touch. That is really frustrating if my default is doing in response to recognizing a need.

I stepped out of my world this morning and went to a new place, and met some new people. And recognized an ache too big for me to touch. And now I ache for them. Which is what I was made for.

Now I get to crawl back up on my Fathers lap and tell him about what I saw, heard and felt. I am so grateful for my Fathers lap. Otherwise I would just ache, and have no place to go, no one to tell about them.

Their situation is no different than anyone else's. They need to find their way home to Dad, and to the rest that being home provides.

It hurts so bad to know that there is not enough of me, that I am not able to humanly demonstrate to them that there is rest. Pride is screaming because there is a need that I was built to recognize and not be able to do anything about. If I could effect it, it would not be worth effecting. This is the place to get to in learning to pray. Where the only thing I can do is admit my powerlessness and trust my Higher Power. To say, "Daddy, they hurt so much for lacking Your Rest. They scrabble and howl and reach in the rut. Please have mercy on them. Continue to show them your loving kindness. Continue to send your light into their darkness."

It is going to be so cool to see the whole picture. Thanks for making me part of it.

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