Dear Daddy,
I love you, because you first loved me. At first I took you for granted. You just were, and I had a right to you because you were my Daddy. Then I found out that it was not automatic. You were available, but I had to want you and everything that it meant to have you for my Daddy. So I said yes and was happy...for a while. Then I discovered that I still wanted to be an orphan and have you for my Daddy at the same time. For a while I struggled, but then I chose to live the life of an orphan again. I turned my back on you and I even laughed at the idea of being your child. And I mocked your kids. I thought the orphan life was better.
One day I came to myself. I realized that the orphan life was not better. I asked you if I could come home and you said yes. Emphatically. You had been patiently waiting. I came home and you taught me to need your kids. I left my old life and hung out with your kids all the time. I even hung out with them so much that I started to believe what some of them believed, that you did not want me to hang out with folks who were not your kids. So I learned well judge and reject. Which of course what was so common in the orphan life. So I discovered that I was still living like an orphan, in your house.
I ran into some more of your kids, and they were much more settled, calm. You know, like weaned children, no longer fretting. They told me it was because they were okay. Dad said so, so they acted like it until it was so. So I looked a saw where you said I was okay. So I started to act like it was so, and now it is so. I am okay. You like me and want me. You know how that makes me feel. Thank you.
I love you, Daddy.
p.s. Daddy, I want to look like I am okay, so people will ask me why and I can tell them.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I love this post, I to was an orphan and thought for years I could hope one day daddy would come for me. He was always near by, waiting.
ReplyDelete